by, J. Pierce Buster, Ocean Course caddie and recent MBA grad from the Citadel
Over the course of my tenure as a caddie at The Ocean Course, one of the things I am most often asked is, “What are some of the funniest things you have seen or been asked by a person you’re caddying for?” While the answers to this question are seemingly endless, a few have overwhelmingly stuck out over the years. What is more, I asked the same question around to the gents in the caddie-shack and found many similar stories, inquiries, and sites. However, I also learned of a number of different, but equally interesting ones as well. Let’s tee it up…
“The Things We Have Carried”
One of the most unique and interesting parts of being a caddie is seeing the things that people store in their golf bags. From the bizarre to the hilarious and the unnecessary to the ridiculous, the things that are pulled out of golf bags never cease to amaze me. In the interest of time, and perhaps embarrassment, I thought a simple list format, paired with a brief description, would be most appropriate.
- Not one… not two… but THREE golf ball retrievers – No explanation given.
- An unopened 2 Liter bottle of Sprite – When asked: “I was wondering where I put that after the grocery…”
- Similarly… a carton of Orange Juice WELL passed its Expiration Date – (The color of said bottle I will leave to your imagination)
- A pink Cowboy hat. (Note: From a gentleman’s golf bag) – When asked… “Saw that at the drug store… had to have it.” Fair Enough.
- A pair of blue jeans – When asked if they could be left behind… “Hey, you never know what I’ll get into out there…”
- A, shall we say, ‘Adult’ magazine – Explanation: A joke played on him by friends. (Discuss amongst yourselves)
- A loaded handgun – No explanation asked for.
- A Bird Identifying Book. (Hard Cover. Roughly 300 pages) – Only located after caddie’s arm had gone numb after 3 holes of carrying the bag.
- PERSONAL FAVORITE: An unopened bottle of salad dressing. Prove it?
“The Thing We Have Been Asked…”
While the obvious questions of “what’s the lowest score you’ve ever seen,” “have you caddied for anyone famous,” and just general, normal golf questions, another entertaining portion of this profession is the things you are asked during the course of a round. Again, from peculiar to hysterical, from obvious to impossible, and everything in between, the questions we are asked are never dull or in short supply.
- Question: “Is that plane going to hit us?”
Explanation: C-17 Air Force Planes use the air space over the Atlantic Ocean to practice banking maneuvers and formations.
Answer: “Sure hope not…”
- Question: “Are alligators poisonous?”
- Question: “Does ‘#1 Handicap’ mean easiest or hardest?”
Explanation: It means it’s the most difficult hole on the golf course on average.
- Question: “What’s under there?”
Explanation: Guest standing on the Red circular plate marking 100 yards to the center of the green.
Answer: “China… that’s why it’s red.”
- Question: “Will the Pros try to hit it on the green?”
Explanation: Guest standing on the tee of the par 3, 197 yard 17th Hole.
Answer: “I’d think so…”
- Question: “I see there is a 56 degree wedge in this bag, but is there a sand wedge?”
Explanation: Guest was using a rental set. Sand wedges are 56 Degrees.
Answer: “You’re holding it…”
- Question: “How does the ball get that high?”
Explanation: Guest watching other guest hit golf shot.
Answer: Head scratching…
- PERSONAL FAVORITE 1A:
Set Up: Guest and caddie standing on the first tee…
Guest: “What’s the object here?”
Caddie: “You want to aim up the left side to avoid the trouble on the right.”
Guest: “No, what is the object of this game?”
Answer: Where do you begin…
- PERSONAL FAVORITE 1B: (On multiple occasions)
Question: “Is that the ocean?”
Explanation: The Ocean Course is set alongside the Atlantic Ocean. It’s possible to see the ocean from every hole, while the last five holes are directly along the ocean’s edge.
So there you have it sports fans. A look inside what it’s like to be a looper at The Ocean Course at Kiawah Island Golf Resort. If nothing else, the sites and sounds are worth the price of admission. And then there’s the breathtaking scenery and awesome golf course to consider… Head’s up, C17 coming in!